A Lil Emotional? Yeah...But I Can Be...

So, I have my first PET scan tomorrow after two full months of chemotherapy. I am not sure how to describe this feeling. I am nervous because I want it to come back "clean", but even that wouldn't stop another four months of treatment. So in a way I am hoping that this scan shows that "hey, i'm beating this thing, i'm kicking its ass" and than four months later I can be like don't ever come back!! But chances of remission are really high if you have a good reaction to the first few months of chemotherapy, which is why this is really important to me.

I am really feeling accomplished about my website. I only have descriptions for the products left to do and than I will be able to post a "Grand Opening". I am looking forward to a lot of things in the future. Most importantly, going back to school in September. I think that is important to me because it will show me that I can start living a normal life again. That I can push myself to do the things I want to do. And, it will get these last few treatments going quicker when I have studying to do.

I still think about a lot of things. No wonder my head feels like a huge balloon sometimes. But, my concentration still remains to just getting healthy and enjoying family and friend time. Reconnecting with my loved ones and consoling with lifetime friends that really have showed they care. Sometimes I think about relationships, but boys are stoopid. Final Answer. =]

Energy =]

I've had a REALLY good last few days. Almost like i'm "normal" again - minus the buzzed hair and having cancer thing. Ha! So, I've been learning how to put on make-up this past week via You Tube and this girl called Tiffany D. It's been fun! I've never put on make-up right, I guess I just had more fun looking clownish? [not really]. But, I'm excited to use her techniques since right now I'm relying on my face to overcompensate lack of flowing hair.

I've also been working on my website. Finally, I have all my handbag pictures posted. Descriptions are coming soon! And today I will finish up the jewelry. The photo backdrop I got makes such a big difference and makes things much easier. I've really been envisioning having my own office in the future all pretty and with cute furniture and than a showroom where I put all my stuff to sell. I think that vision has really made me mentally strong. This is the reason to fight this cancer and keep myself healthy and active.

So, chemo #4 tomorrow! I am hoping for quick recovery and minimal side effects. And than my PET scan, which I am nervous about. I hope it comes back "clean".

p.s. I've been gaining weight. GRRR! So, before it gets out of control, I've been doing salads for lunch and drinking nothing but water. We will see how this works, because I want to fit into my clothes comfortably again. =]

The Wedding & The Weekend

What a long weekend!! So, after chemo #3, I can't complain too much. Just some regular side effect nonsense, but not as bad as the last two. 

So, the wedding. It was hot. I felt really bad because I left around 7.30. But, I was so tired from the heat and felt like going home. Took a Tylenol and ate and knocked out for the night. Seeing everyone was nice, but I felt like very distant. I wanted to be able to drink and dance and be on a better day, but that heat takes so much out of you. I loved seeing Martin and Eddie have so much fun! I guess it was just bitter sweet because I really just want to be done with this already. Blah!

Should be another long weekend. Got to make sure I get some projects done to keep me going. Which would include the photo book, getting my internet site again going, ughh I hate that I haven't done that yet. Yikes!

But, I have been reading a lot lately which is taking up my time. But I finish the books fast. Last book I read was probably way too sad. So I am ready for a happier book this time. 

Welp, PET scan 7/27 after a 4th treatment to see where we are at!! I am really excited about it because it will give the doctor a chance to really lay out the rest of the treatment plan. =]

5.

Chemo #3 today!!! So, wishing for a quick bounce back and minimal side effects, or at least no NEW side effects. THAT I could handle too. Should be getting a visit from one of my co-workers so that will be nice. Now time for downloading some music to listen to....

4.

So far a really really good weekend. Hanging out with my sister, Angel, for dinner and book buying. More hanging out with my sister and family for Uno Attack and Taboo. Two games that are seriously ridiculous. I laughed so much. And than Transformers today with hopefully a good hamburger and some decent firework viewing from the backyard.

Next chemo session:: Wednesday! dun dun dunnn...just kidding. I'm ready for it. And i've got my friend Martin's wedding Saturday so i'm hyped and ready to bounce back from treatment real quick.

On a side note, the shaving of the head was honestly emotional. I did it yesterday. Hmph. All I can say is thank goodness for semi big eyes and makeup to play them up. I got used it to real quick. It's not that bad. And its so much easier to take care of. I'm still losing the tiny hairs, its thinning and eventually will resort to balding, but its manageable to keep the fuzz, so I'm happy with it. I do need to shop for more cover ups like hats though. I want a newsboy hat. [I will post pic up later tonight as long as nobody will pass out from it]

So, a weekend in the life of a newbie cancer patient. Fun stuff. I'm ready and eager to start working and school again, but we'll see.....

Happy 4th of July <3

3.

Beautiful day. Well except for the 102 degree weather. But the air conditioning is on right now so yay! 

So, morning dry mouth gave me a little anxiety today but found out that chewing gum did the trick and got some new mouthwash. Whew. 

Went with the Melissa today to Olive Garden for delicious ravioli and breadsticks. Than off to get some more hair beanies. Got some cute ones and a scarf. Gonna be rockin the short short hair look =]. 

Looking forward to dinner date with my sister tomorrow. I'll post on that tomorrow. 

Enjoying every day closer to remission.